This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Sext me about skeletons
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
