So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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