I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
