I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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