Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
