The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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