census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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