I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
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He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
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Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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