People with herpes should wear stickers.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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