Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
