We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize