I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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