how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
PANTIES FOUND
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