Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
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