i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
