oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos