Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I saw his package. It spoke to me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): I saw his package. It spoke to me. http://tfl.nu/ses1
  Replies (11) Good night (3485) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed. http://tfl.nu/2764
  Replies (47) Good night (6478) Bad night (2225)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap. http://tfl.nu/nba1
  Replies (20) Good night (1105) Bad night (7802)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk. http://tfl.nu/ed4r
  Replies (12) Good night (4619) Bad night (823)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (434): He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears. http://tfl.nu/acnv
  Replies (41) Good night (13060) Bad night (1627)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere. http://tfl.nu/hx43
  Replies (6) Good night (2377) Bad night (1360)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (979): Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again http://tfl.nu/ae74
  Replies (5) Good night (2949) Bad night (941)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back http://tfl.nu/c7vm
  Replies (5) Good night (2244) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (434): some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads. http://tfl.nu/zu14
  Replies (11) Good night (1184) Bad night (2451)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume. http://tfl.nu/bk4q
  Replies (8) Good night (2878) Bad night (965)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college. http://tfl.nu/95qw
  Replies (50) Good night (886) Bad night (3276)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door. http://tfl.nu/eaki
  Replies (0) Good night (484) Bad night (438)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make http://tfl.nu/me5f
  Replies (2) Good night (611) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed. http://tfl.nu/3aeb
  Replies (1) Good night (766) Bad night (251)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it. http://tfl.nu/tz78
  Replies (1) Good night (567) Bad night (266)

Randomize