dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
That's how pantless uber rides happen