pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
