Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
