Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...

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  (703): someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat... http://tfl.nu/oev5
  Replies (7) Good night (699) Bad night (1513)
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  (415): View more from California

  Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.

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  (415): Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer. http://tfl.nu/s996
  Replies (22) Good night (4643) Bad night (657)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it

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  (770): and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it http://tfl.nu/mhur
  Replies (3) Good night (1107) Bad night (2581)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?

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  (336): She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous? http://tfl.nu/rvj0
  Replies (119) Good night (1064) Bad night (5374)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue

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  (812): Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue http://tfl.nu/ir9h
  Replies (93) Good night (4727) Bad night (1178)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life

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  (267): while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life http://tfl.nu/pj1v
  Replies (16) Good night (7778) Bad night (871)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.

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  (636): So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned. http://tfl.nu/elt7
  Replies (38) Good night (2664) Bad night (6338)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store

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  (616): bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store http://tfl.nu/dcxn
  Replies (7) Good night (3422) Bad night (1338)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free

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  (734): It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free http://tfl.nu/3j31
  Replies (8) Good night (4511) Bad night (1577)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk

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  (785): Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk http://tfl.nu/b78y
  Replies (13) Good night (1435) Bad night (1632)
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  (916): View more from California

  He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.

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  (916): He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex. http://tfl.nu/zvxf
  Replies (10) Good night (646) Bad night (2009)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us

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  (303): They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us http://tfl.nu/8tzs
  Replies (11) Good night (1025) Bad night (1608)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  He makes me want to shower. It must be love.

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  (406): He makes me want to shower. It must be love. http://tfl.nu/y7mq
  Replies (4) Good night (848) Bad night (1053)
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  (212): View more from New York

  He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.

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  (212): He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway. http://tfl.nu/5gaf
  Replies (2) Good night (700) Bad night (235)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".

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  (908): I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl". http://tfl.nu/m866
  Replies (0) Good night (495) Bad night (215)

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