does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.