Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

Um...??

(402): View more from Nebraska

She's excited

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(402): Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight (1-402): Um...?? (402): She's excited http://tfl.nu/c04o

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(317): View more from Indiana

She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples

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(317): She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples http://tfl.nu/mvdp

Replies (36) Good night (1447) Bad night (1756) Order T-Shirt
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"

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(401): So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection" http://tfl.nu/al1v

Replies (20) Good night (714) Bad night (5261)
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(281): View more from Texas

i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets

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(281): i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets http://tfl.nu/eja8

Replies (33) Good night (7308) Bad night (532) Order T-Shirt
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(269): View more from Michigan

Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.

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(269): Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos. http://tfl.nu/5wn3

Replies (13) Good night (6047) Bad night (538) Order T-Shirt
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.

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(732): Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home. http://tfl.nu/palx

Replies (2) Good night (2868) Bad night (697) Order T-Shirt
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.

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(617): I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B. http://tfl.nu/c1l3

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(301): View more from Maryland

Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.

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(301): Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back. http://tfl.nu/elq7

Replies (3) Good night (2401) Bad night (733) Order T-Shirt
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(732): View more from New Jersey

please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...

(1-732): View more from New Jersey

...i wondered where i left that...

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(732): please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong... (1-732): ...i wondered where i left that... http://tfl.nu/q7mv

Replies (3) Good night (2282) Bad night (477) Order T-Shirt
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(623): View more from Arizona

I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.

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(623): I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me. http://tfl.nu/we23

Replies (5) Good night (1296) Bad night (497) Order T-Shirt
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(912): View more from Georgia

thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.

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(912): thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit. http://tfl.nu/e0ki

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(707): View more from California

We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.

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(707): We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs. http://tfl.nu/2c0b

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?

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(860): I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that? http://tfl.nu/7o3y

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(706): View more from Georgia

He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.

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(706): He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle. http://tfl.nu/6yo0

Replies (4) Good night (605) Bad night (790) Order T-Shirt
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(408): View more from California

Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship

(817): View more from Texas

Last one there wins

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(408): Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship (817): Last one there wins http://tfl.nu/wuri

Replies (3) Good night (1854) Bad night (467)

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