its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my cats smell like pot.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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