i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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