I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
