Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
