so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
