Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
His nipple licking is glorious
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