we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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