and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
