I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
