She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
