You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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