im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
