What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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