marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
