we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize