Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
