omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
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my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
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Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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