When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I love having hate sex.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
