He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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