i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
