I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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