In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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