I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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