every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
