wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
