Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
