Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Randomize
