I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
