I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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