If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
