apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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