Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize