I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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