People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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