i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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