theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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