Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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