It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Just pee around me
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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