I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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