Why are handjobs necessary in class?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
