No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
My feet surprised me
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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