I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
17 year olds will be the death of me.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
