and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize