he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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