I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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