my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
