ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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