i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Everyone says I win the strip club
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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